The Irritating Indian Expressions

1. Anti-incumbency factor – used by self proclaimed analysts when they want to say, ‘we don’t understand these bloody illiterate voters’

2. Alternative cinema – people who use words like ‘metaphor’ and chase prospective producers away, eventually find some petty cash and make low budget films on ‘issues’ – where during siesta time on Doordarshan, they show some Oriya speaking people squatting and boiling water.


3. Indomitable spirit – of Mumbai especially and now other blast affected areas like Varanasi; it’s the habit of people taking the trains and other public transport to work just the day after the flood or the blast. The phrase is used by people who don’t take these public transports.

4. Indian culture – used chiefly by yuppies, who have not read enough to know that other countries too, have culture. This expression is almost always invoked to address the modernity of women.


5. “I am in search of my identity” – a ritualistic quote of creative people when they have just become famous. Also the result of a couple of whiskeys on a wannabe. This phrase is usually delivered from the other end of the alimentary canal.

6. Woman on top – usually found everywhere; and yes, it is followed by two exclamation marks.


7. “Off the record” – I maybe lying.

8. Land of Kamasutra – reference to India. Through this expression, writers and critics argue that since one man, centuries ago, recorded the various positions in which elastic couples can make love, this country was once inherently liberal. It is interchangeable with ‘Land of Khajuraho’


9. Paradigm Shift – an expression used by MBA grads and Amway distributors when they want to say that they do not know what they are talking about. It is often accompanied by ‘synergy’ and ‘leverage’.

10. “Rekha is an Enigma” – Don’t know what it means.



Other FUPs (Frequently Used Phrases)

Abhi-Ash / Big B / SRK / Breaking News / Just chill / Everything is Maya (god knows who is she) / Gimme a missed call / Gandhigiri / Gen X / Indian heritage / IT boom / Foreign Coach / Cricket is a religion / Masterblaster / Cool! / Secularism / Sporting Wicket / Tinseltown / We are not a nation of snake charmers / Southern Siren / Homely girl / Evergreen Hero / Anti communal forces / Ancient Indians knew the distance between Sun and… blah blah blah.