The fun of being Manmohan Singh

I think I won’t be the first person to figure out the essence behind Being Dr Manmohan Singh. For anyone interested in patterns like the way I am, the gentleman would present an interesting profile. And one doesn’t have to delve deep, because it is certainly not going to be hi-profile Holy Grail hunt like Da Vinci Code. Despite the fact that it is no end to end match, an opening observation would bring the fact under light that, the gentleman’s reflection through his deeds, matches the crux of the elite dominated oldest political party of our country. Pretty neatly.

See, our current captain is fiercely qualified for anyone’s peace of mind. You name a qualification – he almost has it. You name the toughest of exams – he has topped most of them. You name a Premier College – chances are he’s been there. Books, journals, research papers… his resume is near endless. For someone who’s never heard of him before, a look at his candidature can be an intimidating experience. The CV would threaten to engulf him, even in its neuter state, pitying the observer’s mortality.

Now get out of his CV and take a matter-of-fact look at the man. This whole mumbo-jumbo of an impressive resume vanishes somewhere. I don’t know what comes to your mind, but I think of a goldfish – swimming round and round, but getting nowhere. Soothes your eyes, so they say. Or, maybe a pendulum – Tick tock tick tock… and life goes on. Personality-less, voice-less and opinion-less. Completion of thesis papers needs two of the above virtues, at least. I don’t know how he has managed that part.

He has headed Reserve Bank, been a Finance Minister and is now a Prime Minister – and hasn’t left a constructive mark anywhere. Inconspicuous? Good you realized that.

As far as his first two professional milestones are concerned, the Reserve Bank of India doesn’t have very many testimonials reserved to its credit; neither has India been well financially, ever. Moving over to the victorious, much hyped, highly decorated UPA government – you know how they have performed so far. Recession and inflation put aside, they are so damn scared of losing their ruling status in Parliament that they sit on a bill for months, take no decision about it; and all the same cry hoarse in public about the fact that they don’t want to leave office. Pretty blatant of them. The level of their work-image is so pathetic that intelligentsia around the world gets tired of passing voluntary hints, both subtle and strong, about signing the treaty and thus contributing at least once for the country – but they don’t sign. They don’t move either. And highly qualified and educated Manmohan is the appointed head of this lead-footed government.

Visualize the man again. Old small and gray all over, near lost in the humdrum of Congress stalwarts of the Pilots, the Khursheeds, the Scindhias and the Tytlers; and pushing hard for some personal OTS. Not that The Families want to overshadow him; it is just that they are accustomed to being too imposing. You can not blame them. At their level, they have to be intimidating. Running the nation is sweaty, nasty and thankless stuff. As the pioneer entrants to The Hall of Fame of National Shirks, the party members have munificently flashed the winning combo of intimidation, designer white and holier-than-thou attitude. Pity they did not get that one patented. Now every Tom Dick and Harry is copying that.

And Dr Singh? When fate puts someone beside the likes of Sonia and Rahul – legit heirs to the high and mighty Nehru Dynasty, that someone, even if he is the PM probably muses about the chorus of the remix version of the track ‘Living next door to Alice’ sometimes. It goes – Who the f@%# is Alice?!
Who is Manmohan anyway?

Pretty symmetrical, especially considering India govt.’s status in UN or elsewhere internationally.

Summarize, shall I? Truckload of hi-fi qualifications, much like heavyweight glamour quotient of the party; loads of experience across a wide cross-section of positions of national and international importance, like the proclaimed work experience legacy of Congressmen; impressive acoustics and visibility, and all questionable if mapped against a particular background – ‘results’. We either show results, or we provide reasons for not showing them. Manmohan is a reason, so is his elite party of champion shirkers, with full potential and empty kinetics – I think it is a fairly easy pattern for starters.

Put aside the illiterate Indians, it seems that educated Indians also don’t bother much about such practical shortcomings. That is why I get a mail with a subject line that says ‘ Be Proud of your PM ’. The body of the mail contains the bio data of Dr Manmohan Singh. Issue was I couldn’t see how his qualification has helped my nation. So I thought, am I critically picking and choosing the bad things?

I found nothing else even afterwards, so I chose to pick up the pattern.