The Great Indian Musical Chair

Isn’t it fun? Now look, UPA government, after months of sleeping on a Bill suddenly get so patriotic that they decide to act on the same. Throughout the whole of the second half of 2007 till a few weeks ago, they sat on the Agreement Bill and dampened it with the resultant heat and moisture generated. Reason? Left Front kept threatening to pull the chair from under their rear and our friendly ‘aam admi’ chums did not want to slip out of their Parliament Chairs so soon. Not at least before completing the full term.

Left Front had a few concessions to arm twist from the government as long as they were running in the ‘mili jhuli jhula’ called UPA. So they carried on with the West Bengal carnage they rechristened SEZ, pulled out a stunt of a single-day Muslim rebellion (they badly wanted to paint it as ‘revolution’) to shoo Taslima Nasreen out of the state, so on and so forth. Friendly UPA didn’t do much other than twiddling their big toes. Chair matters, after all.

Now Left front has decided that evidently they have had enough of the pie and its time they migrated to greener pastures. So they have made their stance comprehensible on the Nuclear Agreement. Much in the lines of the famous American Idol (you may want to add an ‘i’ after the ‘d’, and replace the ‘l’ with a ‘t’) called George Bush, they have made it clear to the govt. that ‘you are either with us, or you are selling the nation’. Intelligentsia opinion and UPA image builders have managed to get the govt. to grudgingly agree to go ahead with the judgment on the wall, at the cost of blatant ness displayed to keep their rear glued to the ruling chair. Dr Manmohan Singh has thought ‘so be it’ – and that has started cascading a series of events that probably lacks precedent in modern Indian history.

So the UPA said a ‘yes’ to the bill. Naturally Left pulled out. That made the resultant UPA a probable short of majority in the Lok Sabha. So they took to the main road begging for support from any party that was not hundred and eighty degrees opposite. Qualification stood at hundred and seventy nine degrees.

All these years, the obscured SP honcho Amar Singh, who had found nirvana in the company of Amitabh Bacchhan (read Aishwariya Rai), suddenly came under a different spotlight. The same man, who was so far playing a major role in Bollywood functions and other you-know-what activities, unexpectedly found a place back in the national news channels. Why? Because he is a stalwart of SP, the party that has managed to keep UPA’s rear glued to the chairs of Lok Sabha (I am keeping aside the ‘cash for votes’ scandal – nothing has been proven so far), post the over hyped trust vote.

And at what costs? Well, UPA has to screw Mayawati’s happiness somehow or other. Why? Because she screwed SP’s happiness not so long ago in Uttar Pradesh. I don’t know whether UPA is ready to do the needful or not, but I know that when Left front wanted and eventually screwed the happiness of thousands in Singur or Nandigram, UPA acceded. Mayawati is an individual after all. This is an agreeable proposition in Indian Politics – normally speaking.

The unwritten law here is everyone has to take sides. Fresh out of UPA, Left couldn’t possibly remain a vagabond in national level politics for long, so seeing Mayawati’s ‘plight’, they have come to her rescue. Thus they have added the necessary number weight to her already intimidating frame and are encouraging a now-fortified-Mayawati to gun for the PMO. Currently Left Front is practicing the ‘anti’ govt. stunt, so that bit of endeavor becomes almost religious. And I am also told that there is no religion for Communists.

The way things are, don’t be surprised, if in near future Amitabh Bacchhan, taking advantage of his pal Amar Singh’s recent promotion, tries to get even with SRK. After The Marriage of the decade and Ash’s ‘manglik’ entry into the family, things have not been good with them (much to the relief of Salman Khan and Vivek Oberoi), to say the least. Their films have flopped in Box Office, the directors or producers have been ridiculed in national award functions, the once upon a time Crown Prince of Bollywood has taken to acting as a guide in cell-phone ads; and to add insult to that, that nutty SRK has continuously picked his and friend Amar’s trip, taken his mantle of King of Bollywood, his shows like KBC, and even his brand ambassadorship with ICICI Bank away. Quite naturally, if AB (senior or junior) decides to whitewash SRK, now that they are suddenly important again, I would say it is perfectly normal.

In fact it would be a misdemeanor, considering the fact that the jails around the country emptied their cells on streets a few weeks ago. All the criminal Dicks got out, to be persuaded by Tom or Harry to vote here or there. These jailbirds are our country’s elected MLA’s after all and their country needed their services – to prevent the costs of another election; that’s anyway going to happen in a few months’ time.

Amidst all of these, the bald old Speaker of Lok Sabha - Somnath Chatterjee, who enjoys Lalu Prasad Yadav’s translation attempts during lazy afternoons in Lok Sabha, and who is otherwise an active member of Left Front, suddenly decided, to hell with party and all – he was not going to move out of the chair of the Speaker. Following the Left pullout, he had Front leaders across all probable level call him up and ask him to behave, but he did not look left; or right or anywhere other than the chair. Guess he realized that he was close to his retirement age, so nothing else mattered. Even at the cost of termination of a forty plus years’ association with his Party. Apparently someone has shown some guts, though the intent is not very clear, and the age is too much on the wrong side. But then again, if Rahul Gandhi at his age is considered ‘young’, Mr. Chatterjee has probably just ‘matured’.

As I write all this, Rediff News says “Nobody can stop me from becoming the PM – Mayawati.” So forget ‘Brand India’, forget double digit inflation, recession or shut downs – its time to take sidelines to enjoy the game. Welcome to the Great Indian Musical Chair :o)